living in the moment
first off, let me start this off by saying that no one will understand randy and i. i dont care if you were there in the beginning. you werent there when we were apart and making it happen. so when you yourself are the most unstable person ill ever know, dont try to hand out advice. step back and fix yourself before you try to fix other people…
i hate when people who have shitty relationships see someone’s relationship on the rocks and jumps in like they know what they’re going through. why cant we worry about ourselves? i dont jump into anyone’s lives because i havent been there 24/7. all i know is what ive seen and experienced. again, especially if we havent hung out in a while and you dont know the half of it, keep your opinions, suggestions, and comments to yourself. thanks.
anywho, randy and i, we are something else, you know? probably not. stupid question. he’s giving me my freedom and independence that ive asked for since december. we really will “see what happens next…” im excited. we’re going to be best friends and hangout and finish our lists. if someone new comes into our lives and doesnt like that we’re such great friends, FUCK EM! you dont come into someones life without building a foundation of a great friendship and then feel like you can call all the shots. you learn each other’s past, you learn each other’s habits, and you understand where the other person is coming from and why they are the way that they are. thats it. its simple. not complicated.
i feel that randy and i lasted so long in our relationship because of simplicity. simple simplicity. we never fought about stupid stuff like retarded couples today do. my main pov was that if its not going to be a big deal 24 hours from now, it doesnt deserve a minute of arguing. LET. IT. GO. you dont always need to teach someone a lesson. you dont always need to be right. you dont always need to prove a point. because chances are your forcing your opinion on them. and that COMPLICATES things. one word: animosity. another good one: resentment. when you choose to argue until someone is right, the person who is proven “wrong” will automatically develop resentment towards the person who is “right” because they started that argument believing and feeling a certain way and that argument would never have existed they both agreed on whatever started the argument. be logical. care. love. and live in the moment.
which brings me to my next venting session. i am 20 years old, going on to 21. i feel that ive made the right choices in life. i feel that my decisions and changes i make in my life should only be criticized by those who are directly effected. otherwise, SHATTAP! anyways, i feel like im doing right by my parents. i never did drugs. i never got drunk. i never smoked weed or anything like that. ive been a good girl all my life. ive only ever had one bf who respected my “one year rule” and gave me the experience of love. now that im growing up and slowly realizing what i want in life, im seeing a new me. someone who wants to go on roadtrips along the california coast. someone who wants to be out all the time, be it flying kites, playing tennis, running at the beach, sitting on a blanket and enjoying the view of her city from mt soledad, whatever! im becoming more adventurous than before. im taking new risks and chances on new people. i am still very capable of dropping people without any remorse or second thought. but i also start each and every friendship by giving the other person the benefit of the doubt. so far, its served me well. ive seen the red flags however and avoid them. ive got my guard up again, but i lower it a little from time to time as well. im living in the moment. if its a beautiful day, do something fun and enjoy the weather. if its a sucky day, go watch a movie and surround yourself by good company. hungry? picnic. restaurant. cook! dont give yourself the chance to be bored. start hobbies. dont over analyze. let things happen.
im doing pretty good about keeping my new year’s resolution: dont make a big deal about anything. its helped me get over a few things and not stress so much. dont cry or pout over something you dont have any control over. it wont do you any good. ive also developed this new insight on the world: dont have any expectations. that way, no one can let you down. you can only be surprised. im living in the moment and meeting new people and doing new things. you should as well. everyone should.
im working on this new project for my life… ill let you know about it once im done researching. PEACES! and of course: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!
