i wasnt being completly honest
it was my resolution and now that i look back, i see that i only chose to be honest when i wanted to be. the big decisions, i kind of held back. i never lied. i do want things to work out. but im not ready for them to work out right now. i shouldn’t have given in and got your hopes up. i was wrong for that. i should have stood my ground and made us split before, when i had the chance. but now ive hurt you. and now you hate me a little. i understand. i went through what you’re going through right now in December. ALMOST EXACTLY.
im sorry. im sorry i dont feel the same anymore. im sorry i dont love you like i used to. im sorry i only love you like a friend. im sorry i gave up fighting. im sorry i stopped believing. im sorry for switching to being selfish and looking out for me.
i know you chose SD for us. to make things right. but it seems we were victims of time. you learn early on in life that you cant see time. you cant touch it. its not until your an adult that you can feel it passing. feel it pushing and pulling and wearing you down. well, we’ve been pushed, we’ve been pulled, and we’re more worn out than ever before. i still want my best friend. but if that’s too hard for you i completely understand. and when you finally decide to put down your shield and sword, i hope you still want to be friends as well.
“we’ll see what happens…”
